by Kindergarten Hazing Ritual

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Kindergarten Hazing Ritual's Cybergrind Christmas carol for these modern times.

this is release #37564-006


released December 24, 2009



all rights reserved
Track Name: year round christmas or year round school, whichever comes first
halloween is over (put your tree up now)
the 4th of july is over (put your tree up now)
memorial day is over (put your tree up now)
come buy shit
come buy shit
come buy shit
Track Name: it's the holidays, lets lay people off
at the top
get so bored
of doing nothing every day
and I know you cannot afford
not having to be here every day
we've made a list and checked it twice
lets see you live up to your promises
when we can't live up to ours
sod off
go home
give us a spirited scene before you leave
(but don't come back and kill us)
you brought this on yourself by doing your job
we won't even bother replacing you
new house, new child, new life
fuck that
i'm bored bored bored
Track Name: we don't love you as much as your sister
we don't love you as much as your sister
why can't you be more like her
all she asks for is clothes and shoes
we wish we never had you
we got her this brand new phone
but that x-box is too expensive
and too violent
and too noisy
why can't you be more like her
Track Name: retail jobs nobody wants
it's time to stab
it's time to shoot
wal-mart doorman taste our boots
we don't care
we want toys
my kids are snotty, spoiled and lame
and i gotta shut 'em up somehow
i'll kill you to not have to hear the munchkins whine
while i'm trying to watch the game in crystal clear real time
life is shit, we need distractions
i don't wanna think about how we're like rats in a cage
i just got laid off, and i'm in the red
but i've been here since 6PM last night
stomach aching from too much fucking turkey
and a lust for fucking blood
you're gonna close because the 2'000 of us killed one guy
are you fucking crazy?
this is christmas!!!
this happens every year!!
gimme my fucking iphone!!!
Track Name: file under: tv commercials foster unrealistic expectations from life
where's my lexus!?
where's my lexus!?
where's my lexus!?
Track Name: and we ripped out thier living guts and used them to deck the halls
christmas cheer is a fucking myth
especially when some whore with the court behind her takes it all
look at them in there, laughing it up at santas expense
have I got a gift for them
ho ho ho
the gift that keeps on giving
brains were hung on the walls with care
and a little girl now wishes santa wasn't there
she'll be relieved when you tell her I don't exist
I won't in a hour or so
come honey it's time to go
I fucked my life for you
this christmas
I'll fuck us all
Track Name: toys r us kids vs. life
the true spirit of christmas is the suffering of mankind
because christianity is all about the suffering of mankind
so we cause others suffering to alleviate our own
and we're all left feeling empty in the end
give of yourselves so no one will guilt trip you for not doing so
preach love and charity to make yourself feel noble and righteous
preach righteousness to bring down those who still enjoy this time of year
and to make yourself feel better about the unknown answers after death
anyone older than 17 understands
misery is the true spirit
misery is the true spirit
anyone older than 17 understands this all too well