all kids love spiked bat

by Kindergarten Hazing Ritual

  • Streaming + Download

    It was going to be on a split, but now it's not.
    it's 37564 release #37564-012




we've waited a while to release these songs. They were gonna be on a 4 way 12" split, which got pushed back indefinitely. . .then they were gonna be on a 3 way split, but one band broke up and they're still doing this split with us under a new name and new material. . .so we're recording new material also. Here is what was going to be our segment of that split. It's more than a year old. it's about time it comes out.


released November 7, 2010

all instruments and vox - Cory Monster
and a guest spot from K8



all rights reserved
Track Name: douchebag 3:16 says you're fucking dead
your god laughs at you
here, I'll show you
Track Name: bomb the oc before another shitty hair metalcore band is formed
the 80s weren't that great
Track Name: maybe she's born with it, maybe it's photoshop
the camera adds ten pounds
the mouse subtracts
wrinkles, blemishes, uibrows and coldsores
moustaches, peach fuzz, cellulite and double chins
2s become 10s
hags become milfs
you become a star
i become a god
everyone wins
Track Name: realdolls were invented because you fucking suck
you invested so much into scientific research on how to make us obsolete
so we made you obsolete in a matter of seconds
with material softer than your wretched skin
a truly perfect being
immune to aging
free of ulterior motives
delusions of grandeur
desire for control
and best of all
no pesky voice box
this is equality
we don't need each other
slit your fucking wrists
Track Name: product of a gang bang
they told you what?
you look like you just found out you had cancer
what you've got now is more than a tumor
parasite on top of parasite
was one night worth your life?
we'll never see you again
it already feels like you died
you're at that age where you can't sit still
you woulnd't be going through this
had you just stayed put
now you're not going anywhere
the ultimate sacrifice
nobodys gonna appreciate
it's a tumor!
Track Name: song we wrote when we heard Electronic Gaming Monthly was dead
you see the same faces you laughed at on the way to the top
on the way down
and I'm sure we'll meet again
impromptu slaughter of an incessant pawn
she can't pick which dick
but where she's going, none need blowing
your little buddy with the cute logo and the glorified household appliance
ain't doin so well these days
make sure you stop to see him on the way down
cast down from the clouds
fading into the shadows
dreams cast aside
along saturns rings
you thought
you mastered
the system